Women of American Gladiator

Thursday, May 29, 2008
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I can see myself on American Gladiator, especially in some of the events that rely on total conditioning and/or speed, quickness, etc. I like the event where you bounce off of the gladiators to dump balls in the baskets while they try to tackle you and keep you down. The gladiators are too awkward and slow, and thus can be beaten easily.

However, I was disappointed by the new American Gladiator show. Since the first few shows, I don’t watch it too much. The thing that disappoints is the huge women (and some are doing some really good drugs) that dominate the female gladiator ranks. They try to look big and scary and threatening, but at what price? It costs a lot of femininity to stand up there and look like a New York club bouncer in a superman suit. Some of the female competitors, who are petite-but-athletic lightweights, have been totally dominated by those big slugs because many of the events are geared toward the kind of power that comes from size alone. This chick, Helga, is just plain fat and disgusting. Look at her upper arms – there’s a serious cellulite party happening up there.

All said, I like Gina Carano (“Crush”). I guarantee you she’s not popping DHEA, estrogen blockers, or doping on HGH. She’s a true cross-fit athlete – a natural, tough MMA fighter who doesn’t lose often. A hilarious quote of hers in the July issue of Muscle & Fitness goes:

My friends and I were at a bar one night and this girl had a huge problem with me because she thought I was flirting with her friend’s boyfriend, which I wasn’t. I just ignored her, and that made her much angrier with me for whatever reason. So she started verbally attacking my roommate, who’s very petite. That’s when she got my attention.

The bouncers knew I wasn’t the troublemaker, so they escorted that girl out the back way. I wanted to fight her, but the bouncers held me back and told me to forget about it and not to go outside. But I was so frustrated that I took off my heels, left them inside, and went around to the back where she was. By myself.

I punched her, mounted her, and started throwing some bombs.

We girls have gotta take care of ourselves in some cases. It pays to be well-conditioned and well-trained. Go Gina, go.

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