We Were Terrorist Free

Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Posted in category Security State

WASHINGTON—For a brief eight-second period Tuesday, Homeland Security officials lowered the national terror alert system to green, indicating the first occasion since September 11, 2001, that the United States of America was at absolutely no risk of a terrorist attack. “During this time there was no anti-U.S. chatter on the Internet, no al-Qaeda operatives planning to behead an American soldier or journalist, and no suspicious individuals boarding any foreign or domestic flights,” Homeland Security chief Janet Napolitano said during a White House press briefing. “It was a pretty wonderful eight seconds.” The terror alert level was then immediately raised to red after terrorists drove a truckful of explosives into the Seattle Space Needle.

Yes, it is satire.


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4 Responses to We Were Terrorist Free

  1. Jay says:

    October 20th, 2009 at 1:24 pm

    I love The Onion. :) Karen, have you seen The Daily Mash yet? It’s the UK’s equivalent of The Onion, and in my opinion certainly worth spending a few minutes a day reading: http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/

    Really, you could easily skip the BBC or other UK papers and just read the Mash for all of your international news needs.


  2. cousin lucky says:

    October 20th, 2009 at 8:05 pm

    Terrorists, foreign or domestic, are not going to go after tourist attractions. If someone is going to risk their lives to kill and main others they are more likely to go after government officials or the mega-rich people pulling all of the strings.

    Whenever I take the Staten Island ferry I have to pass by deputy brownshirt and his bomb sniffing dog. What a complete total waste of tax money. A few months ago I was on the ferry coming back to Staten Island reading my newspaper when two members of the U.S. Coast Guard walking a dog approached me. The female had the dog on a leash and she pulled the dog toward me and forced the dog to smell my black sports bag that was on the seat beside me. This caused me to roll over in laughter! When I was about to depart the boat I saw them again and burst out in laughter again.

    The male pulled the female and the dog toward the other end of the boat before I could get my camera ready. I am 65 years old and disabled but to them I must be a ” Menace to Society “!!

    Homeland Security = Another Government Money Spending Farce!!

  3. cousin lucky says:

    October 21st, 2009 at 9:22 pm

    I came across an article today that pertains to this subject at:

    It is well worth reading!!

  4. clark says:

    October 22nd, 2009 at 10:41 am

    One nation under surveillance – isn’t that a part of our national anthem nowadays? With liberty and freedom for the government to decide for all?

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