The Miserable Totalitarian Types

Saturday, October 22, 2005
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I got another fun email from an anti-SUV’er the other day. Funny thing about these emails is that my chagrin has nothing whatsoever to do with SUVs. Rather, it has to do with how people are totally consumed by the day-to-day choices of others, and why they make those choices.


These are the people that: 1) react to Leviathan crisi-mongering, openly invite it, and therefore become willing recipients for the totalitarian system under which we currently live 2) fuel the actions of Leviathan by giving the perception that the “masses” (majority) want or need the all-encompassing Nanny-Fascist State, because it is these types that always make the most noise. Here’s the letter:

Just read your brilliant article entitled “I Hate SUVHaters”. Well just to let you know, you’re about as prejudiced as the guy who described SUV owners. While I don’t really hate SUVs per se, I can’t stand how most people who drive them drive to slow in the fast lane, tailgate more often than not and are often the only person inside. Do you live in the wilderness? Do you drive offroad more than once a year? If not, then what is the point of driving something that uses so much gas and takes up so much room? Oh yeah before you go calling me a milquetoast – I drive an integra, live in harlem and own a pitbull. Enjoy your time at the pump SUV lover.

My response to him is:

#1 – Why do you give a fuck about the reasons why anyone wants “so much room” or otherwise? What business is it of yours? Why does some butthead somewhere “need” a Corvette, and so much speed? Let’s ban sports cars! Why does anyone “need” a convertible? A capitalist economy, pal, is the essense of bringing luxury (read: unnecessary for survival) items to the middle class at affordable prices. You are the epitome of the Totalitarian-Hitlerian busybody.

#2 – The piece was a satire piece. It was a satire on the anti-SUV nuts. Guess that went over your head?

#3 – I don’t own an SUV. Never have.

#4 – If I did, it’s none of your goddamn business what I spend my money on: cigarettes, booze, gasoline, 50 pairs of shoes, or frickin’ NFL games on satellite tv. You are not the judge and jury of my lifestyle or anyone else’s.

#5 – And there’s a problem with people “being the only person inside” their car? Excuse me? Uh, yeah – should people should never go about their business, and tend to life, if that means they have to perform the ungodly act of driving alone. Gasp! Or do we schedule our lives around someone else – somewhere – who has to go to the same places we do, and at the same time? Now that would be an efficient lifestyle, eh?

#6 – Mind your own business, and you will lead a far less miserable life.


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