Stupid Americans University

Sunday, July 5, 2009
Posted in category Uncategorized

I couldn’t believe this story when I saw it. Everything has to be made into some big, feelgood, self-esteem deal, including tying your shoes. Don’t spend a few choice minutes, here and there, teaching your children to tie their shoes. Send them to the pros at Shoe Tying University and make a great big ordeal out of it. Give them a paper graduation certificate and we’re all happy now.

Lauren is one of dozens of kids who have learned how to tie their shoes at Shoe Tying U., the brainchild of Gregg Reo, who owns Michele’s (pronounced muh-kelly’s) Children’s Shoes.

Churgin-Brown said she wanted her daughter to learn how to tie her shoes before heading off to kindergarten in the fall. After a half-hour lesson last week, Lauren was tying her shoes like an old pro.

Oh, and yeah, kids actually “graduate” from Shoe Tying University. Another fine example of outsourcing parenting. Dumbus Americanus.

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11 Responses to Stupid Americans University

  1. Robin says:

    July 5th, 2009 at 7:52 pm

    There was a classic line on this very subject in Pixar’s “The Incredibles”: “They keep finding new ways to celebrate mediocrity!”

  2. Karen De Coster says:

    July 5th, 2009 at 8:25 pm

    Robin, on mediocrity: like a friend of mine says, soon people will be celebrating and rewarding bowel movements.

  3. Robin says:

    July 5th, 2009 at 8:42 pm

    As you’ve written, Karen, this sort of ritualized insanity has been spawned by the Fed-generated credit boom. The Greater Depression will force people to drop it in the hard scramble for survival.

  4. David says:

    July 5th, 2009 at 8:50 pm

    That’s okay, Karen–when we sink deeply enough into this depression, a lot of this stupidity will cease on its own.

  5. Shannon says:

    July 5th, 2009 at 9:01 pm

    Ironically, I once took a course at a college with the abbreviation of SAU. The course was Adult Development Psychology, void of anything challenging, but loaded with feminist nonsense. Also included was the typical male-bashing and collective mentality among the students that is apparent in so many institutions of higher learning. I would have got more out of a Dr. Suess book.

    As for rewarding mediocrity, consider the curriculum of a high school diploma in our generation compared to that of our grandparents. There is no comparison! (Maybe they should include blank, fill-in yourself certificates with in those boxes of Dulcolax).

  6. Michael the Artist says:

    July 5th, 2009 at 10:36 pm

    Uh, I don’t see the problem here. This is a retailer who had trouble selling his merchandise because the customer didn’t know how to use it correctly, so he offered free education to the customer (customers’ kids, in this case). The Apple Store and Home Depot do the same kinds of things.

    I hope this shoe merchant achieves some sort of prosperity up there in the depressed Detroit economy.

  7. Bruce says:

    July 6th, 2009 at 3:20 am

    No surprise here.
    As people are dumbed down by the media and public education we need to feel better about ourselves. Events that wouldn’t raise an eyebrow 50 years ago now have to be enshrined as if everyone has cured polio or something. Last year my little niece got a Gold Star Certificate for smiling all day at her classmates. But, she received it under false pretense. Turns out her braces were irritating her, so she just kept her mouth open all day.

  8. The Infamous Oregon Lawhobbit says:

    July 6th, 2009 at 10:51 am

    I’m sure it’s a very straight-laced school.

  9. Bruce says:

    July 6th, 2009 at 9:53 pm

    The Infamous Oregon Lawhobbit wrote:
    “I’m sure it’s a very straight-laced school.”

    Hahahah….that is funny Lawhobbit!

  10. Tom Osborne says:

    July 7th, 2009 at 2:04 am

    Wow, I guess these parents will NEVER go in for homeschooling. Meanwhile, poor Ralph Waldo Emerson (author of the essay “Self-Reliance”) must be rolling in his grave…Americans can’t even teach their own kids how to tie their shoes, and the kids can’t learn it for the sake of the accomplishment, but have to be tempted into it by receiving external rewards (diplomas, etc.).

  11. Karen De Coster says:

    July 7th, 2009 at 5:21 am

    Thanks for the reminder about “Self-Reliance.” That should be trotted out again, for all to read. However, do you think kids reads this great essay in public schools anymore? No, they hear about self-esteem and sharing.

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