Sorry, No Beer on Sunday in Minnesota

Sunday, September 28, 2008
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Minnesota is a state where laws restrict most retailers from selling most beer, wine, and spirits for off-premises consumption, so there are all of these specialized “liquor stores” here. Forgive me, but I am used to Michigan, where liquor is sold in grocery stores, convenience stores, chain drugstores, and “party stores” (a Michigan term for small, independently-owned “convenience” stores that are located on nearly every corner).

Recently, I have become hooked on an OktoberFest beer imported from Munich, Germany – Spaten. I was really in the mood to get a 6-pack of this glorious liquid today. So this afternoon, I stop at one liquor store, and it is closed. I stop at a 2nd one, and it is closed. (I’m still getting used to things here.) My next stop was the Qwik Trip for gas. I asked the couple pumping gas next to me, “Excuse me, but can you tell me where in this state I can buy beer on a Sunday?” Reply: “You can’t.” (Lots of smiles.) And the guy (he looked like a lumberjack) said, “But you can get 3-2.” I said, “What is 3-2?” He said, “Low-alcohol beer. 3.2 alcohol.” I couldn’t help it and I burst out laughing, because all I wanted was a dang beer. “You got to be kidding me?” They both laughed and the wife said, “Where are you from, anyways?” I said, “Michigan.” She said, “We drove through Michigan before, and there were liquor stores _everywhere_.” I said, “Yep, there is.” We had a short discussion, by the gas pumps, on how insane everything has become concerning the flood of anti-alcohol fascism. I noted how I could go to the local tavern, and drink 3, 4, or 5 Spaten beers, and drive home under the influence, yet I could not purchase a beer to take home and drink on my own couch. They understood – and agreed with – my points without a second thought.

No alcohol can be purchased on Sundays, but somewhere there are people who push across the notion that this somehow changes things, that it makes us all safer and better off. Never mind the fact that you can buy the dang liquor on Saturday to drink on Sunday!

It’s incredible how these crazed, fascist laws creep into our very private lives, and dictate to us how and when and where we will live our lives. And mostly, people buy into it because they believe that it’s for our collective good – because they have been fed some bullshit statistics – and they have been told that is what they must believe.

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