Shit Women Do

Monday, December 29, 2008
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fruitflies.jpg I usually don’t women-type, vacuous things, but I recently did a doosie. I kept having these damn fruit flies hanging in my face when I would cook or sit at the MacBook – because I keep the laptop in the front of the house near the kitchen. These things were hanging around for two weeks, making me crazy. I knew there was *something* somewhere that had to draw them in, but I couldn’t figure it out. My house is very, very clean, always – no garbage, no food, nothing like that ever sits around. But the flies were getting worse and worse by the day. I went through everything – and nothing stood out as unusual. Then this weekend I decided to do a chore I do a couple of times per year – clean out and re-arrange the hall closet. So I opened up the closet and there before me was a swarm of those dirty suckers. I saw a bag in the closet and remembered: back in early November I had bought eight decorative gourds (colorful winter squash) because I wanted to make a table arrangement out of them. I put them in the hall closet in a bag. And forget about them. The scene of the crime was disgusting. The bodies were rotted beyond recognition. It was a huge pile of rancid, decomposed mush. However, there was very little smell so I couldn’t have caught on earlier.

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