Poop Nazis and Libertarianism (Part II)

Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Posted in category Tyranny of the Masses

When I made this post about the “poop nazis” at a condo in Baltimore, I knew that some libertarians would jump the gun, and I exactly predicted their letters to me. In summary, a small group of people who like to empower themselves are trying to force people who live in the condo complex to engage costly – and invasive – services for DNA testing their dogs so that the condo association can walk around picking up dog poop and testing it, and then fine the owner after the poop is “matched to their dog.”

The control freaks who usually like to head up these types of organizations are said to be doing things “voluntarily” because a condo is on “private property,” according to some libertarians. I was told that the people who didn’t like the new mandates can just “get up and leave.” (That’s always my favorite response.) I suppose that comment doesn’t take into account trying to sell a condo in this economy? Then I was told that this is private property, and, as is common among libertarians, don’t dare criticize something that occurs on private property.

Now the notion of these voluntary property associations can be debated endlessly (and the topic has been beat to death), so I won’t open up that entire debate. However, here are some follow-up comments to all of those who missed my point.

People jumped into this Randian-like, dogmatic state and accused my criticism of these folks as being “unlibertarian” or “not respecting property rights.” How? Did I advocate passing a law? No. Did I advocate forcing people to do something they did not want to do? No. Did I advocate the trampling of private property? No. I criticized the small group of people at a condo association who wish to mandate DNA testing for dogs in order to “control” the poop problem. So if anyone can write me and clearly spell out where I “turned from my principles” (that was one response to me), I’ll gladly re-read my own short blog and search for the invisible words.

My short, blanket answer: separate “voluntary” from crazed, overzealous power mongering/control. If I bought into a “voluntary” condo association, and afterwards they passed anti-blonde laws, you mean that if I feel strongly about not having to dye my hair brunette, I should just pick up and leave? The homeowners did not move in agreeing to pay mega $$$ to have their dogs DNA tested and put under DNA poop scrutiny. A truly voluntary association would have several means before them to control the poop problem – using voluntary cooperation – without resorting to “private” tyranny. But then again, the world is full of pedestrian tyrants who love to spearhead coercion and stir up new bureaucracies because it gives them something to do. These people are typically the state’s favorite Useful Idiots.

For example, even in public dog parks they resort to “pick-up” stations and garbage barrels – and this works in every dog park I’ve ever used. For that poop which isn’t covered by such a solution, there are several means that a condo association can resort to, such as voluntary patrols for people who have an interest in the property. Or pay a local service to pick up, or, better yet, engage local kids to do it for pay. Or a combination of all of the above, etc. Many solutions could be engaged that would be more cost effective and far less intrusive and overzealous. I think most rational people know and understand that this problem can be engaged and solved at a basic level without resorting to control feakism on the part of enabled condo association leaders.

Or you can just pass costly, crazed, DNA doggie laws which “respect property rights,” such as the article described. And then here’s the question: how will you enforce those mandates? By force? If it is truly “voluntary,” you can turn your back on the condo mobocracy and refuse their Orwellian mandates.

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4 Responses to Poop Nazis and Libertarianism (Part II)

  1. Dave Kraus says:

    May 18th, 2010 at 8:11 am

    People that don’t watch where they step prefer to blame someone else for their missteps.

  2. clark says:

    May 18th, 2010 at 3:16 pm

    Is there a random pre and post area inspection?
    Surely they use CCTV?

    Your example of the condo-dog DNA seems to be similar to the new forced-blood-draw-law in my state.

    Just by simply driving (as with D.U.I. this also means while standing next to or near your car?) you agree and consent to undergo a blood draw, if it is reasonable to the cop.

    There’s even a built in appearance of choice. You could of course Not drive, keep in mind horses are not allowed, the bus stops operating at 6 p.m., bicycles are not allowed on the interstate hyways (not to mention it’s nuts to ride a bike in certain traffic) and walking is often a high risk danger, especially for women.

    The other choice is you can (maybe? for now) pee in a cup, but if you can’t go, it’s off to the needle for you. It will of course always be done in fairness and up to government standards, like they have in the VA hospitals with the snake-camera-thingy. Eww. What else could possibly go wrong or be wrong with that?

    I had no idea there were so many gross definitions of the phrase party poopers, now there seems to be one or two more.

    “pedestrian tyrants who love to spearhead coercion and stir up new bureaucracies because it gives them something to do. These people are typically the state’s favorite Useful Idiots.”

    They are often, “resorting to control feakism…”

    “Preventing Obesity in Other People.”

  3. Iluvatar says:

    May 18th, 2010 at 6:16 pm

    Love that phrase. Those HOA weenies really are “control freaks”, aren’t they?

    Sorry you took so much flak on this one.

    Hey! Have you had your ALA today?

    No? Take one and chill dude.

    Clears the head of all that negative emotion (grin).

    Tomorrow’s another day…

  4. miles says:

    May 18th, 2010 at 8:57 pm


    A lot of people dont know it, but burglars often defecate in houses they break into. If that new DNA swabbing technology is applied to the “evidence” left at the scenes, when police have a suspect, they will be able to generate the evidence necessary to convict. It certainly seems excessive to go to such an extent over dogs pooping outside in a subdivision. Generally speaking, people are much more reasonable than we think, and asking them nicely can usually get them to be compliant (carrot), and social shaming (if enough people join in) can be an effective stick if being polite doesn’t work. Its seemingly ridiculous to actually ask a new homeowner for their *dog’s* DNA. We sure aren’t the Mayberry-esque America of the 50′s-through-70′s anymore. There’s a paranoia somewhere in this policy….

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