Escalators Love Crocs Almost As Much As I Do

Saturday, January 28, 2012
Posted in category Idiocracy

Reader Charles Everett sent this article to me, knowing my dislike for America’s favorite slob shoe: Crocs. The shoemaker, Crocs Inc., is being sued because the shoes are “dangerous” for kids.

The Motzney lawsuit said that the daughter received her pink child’s-sized Crocs as a gift from a relative, who bought them in December 2010. She was wearing the Crocs, which were caught in the side of the escalator in the JCPenney department store on Aug. 13, 2011, the lawsuit said.

Laskin said the girl lost the little toe on her left foot and the skin off the bottom of that foot.

The lawsuit claims that Crocs has known since 2005 that children have been injured while wearing Crocs that “were sucked into the side skirts of moving escalators.” The suit cites a June 2008 letter from Crocs to the federal Consumer Product Safety Commission acknowledging that Crocs had received 186 claims of escalator injuries.

I know this is not meant to be funny so I’ll skip the snide comments. Perhaps the problem is that folks wear these things three sizes too big, with two inches between their heel and the rear of the shoe, and another inch or two of space forward of the toes, with the shoes flapping about like a child playing dress-up in Mommy’s shoes? What about saggy pants? Do those get caught in escalators, too? Will Wolverine Boot find it profitable to make a pair-of “safe” steel-toe, work-worthy Crocs for the lumberjacks, machinists, and construction workers? Even without the macho Croc model, George Bush once chose to wear this fashion atrocity.

It turns out that hospitals are banning Crocs because the shoes … don’t protect the Croc owner’s feet from sharp objects. This story in the Mail Online notes that “hospitals in the U.S., Canada, Sweden and Austria recently introduced bans on staff wearing Croc-style shoes because of safety concerns.” Can’t we just declare Crocs a negative externality and thereby tax folks who wear them to appropriately compensate the rest of us for our pain of having to look at them? (Libertarianoids: I am joking.)

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5 Responses to Escalators Love Crocs Almost As Much As I Do

  1. Ken Ashley says:

    January 28th, 2012 at 4:28 pm

    Whom do you sue if bare footed. God, of course.

    Or tenny runners. Asics, of course.

    How about Keen in similar. Great for hiking improved trails.

    RE-Do escalator.

    Keep the kid at home.

    What happened to responsible for one’s self?

  2. Alan says:

    January 29th, 2012 at 12:58 am

    I do own a pair of Croc rip-offs, which I use in my boat since I have to push the trailer through mud to launch it. With the Crocs I can just swish em in the water over the side and then slip them back on, without the mud and tiny crabs. As such I consider them used for what they’re designed for, easy-rinse beachwear. I’m not sure though how or why they are especially hazardous on elevators? Presuming you’re weating a size that fits I don’t see why they’re any worse than any other shoe – and being so soft possibly better, as they’d rip off before ripping your foot off?

  3. chuck says:

    January 29th, 2012 at 8:56 pm

    wow, i hate crocs too.  they are just plain ugly.  they are unsafe for kids to play in too.  to run in them, which kids tend to do in croc weather, is a clumsy adventure that leads to tripping.  better off barefoot than wear crocs.

  4. 10S says:

    January 31st, 2012 at 5:19 pm

    I always get a laugh out of your irrational hatred of Crocs, though I do give you credit for chutzpah given the picture of you wearing Vibram Five Fingers (the most retarded name in the history of shoes – those are toes).

    Crocs are supposed to be worn big, especially the original Caymans. That way they don’t pinch anything and don’t cause your big toe to bunion. They are awesomely comfortable and easy to slip on and off. The fact that they drive people nuts is just a bonus. I’ve always wanted to get an orange pair like in the movie Idiocracy.

    Recently, I’ve become a big fan of Stem footwear, which have a more normal look and still don’t pinch my toes. Life is too short to wear uncomfortable shoes.

    By the way, I’ve made good money trading Crocs, but it has been a wild ride. I haven’t owned it for a while.

  5. Karen De Coster says:

    February 1st, 2012 at 7:12 pm

    10S – I guess we’ll agree to disagree on retarded Crocs and functional Vibrams.

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