Changes in Your Citizenship

Sunday, March 27, 2005
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I received mine in the mail this week:

SECTION 5
The Freedom of Speech section of the Agreement is amended to distinguish between Regular Preferred Speech and Non-Preferred Speech. The Non-Preferred Speech rate applies to all speech which is not in good standing as defined under the “Preferred Citizen Rate Eligibility” section of your Agreement. Both the rate and your freedom of speech may vary based on changes in the National Terror Alert Level.

SECTION 11
The Rule of Law section of the Agreement remains in effect, except that it no longer applies to Us. It may also, from time to time, cease to apply to Contributors above a certain level (see Schedule G, attached).

SECTION 13
The Cruel and Unusual Punishment section of the Agreement is unchanged, except that “unusual” is amended to read “unusual in Texas.”

SECTION 16
This amendment affects the Right to Privacy section of your agreement. Under the new terms, the Right to Privacy must be applied for on an individual basis. To apply for your Right to Privacy, you must send your full credit history, a copy of your party registration and church membership, a complete set of fingerprints, a DNA sample, and two (2) passport-size photographs of your bedroom to: National Privacy Registry, Washington, DC, 20012-3006, att: Doris.

SECTION 43
In the section on Transaction Fees, the sentence “All drafts, including convenience checks, cash advances, and balance transfers, on citizenship accounts with a balance of less than $50,000 shall be subject to a transaction fee of $50 or 3%, whichever is greater” is amended to read “All citizens with an income of less than $50,000 shall be subject to a draft.”

SECTION 47
The Social Security section of the Agreement is unchanged, except that the program described will no longer be (a) social or (b) secure.

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