Bread, Circuses, and Cocoa PuffsFriday, March 18, 2011
One great thing about a bubble economy that promotes infantile attachments is that you never have to grow up and fully assume adult responsibility.
Once again, I do not make this stuff up – I only report on the madness of crowds that is the result of people buying into the bubble-inflationary economy that feeds the masses a sense of false prosperity, making people go crazy, lose control, and, essentially, causing the moral fabric of a society to decay rapidly. Part of that decay is a never-ending cycle of adult infantilism that is a result of the dumbing down of society by way of: public schools (government), the nanny state (government), an inflationary economy (government), demoralizing central planning (government), and the omnipotent paternal authorities (government).
A reader sent me this very funny – but pitiful – Groupon that was offered in his area for an adult cereal cafe (no, not the cereal-and-pajama parlor I mentioned in the past). This place is called the Cereal Boxx. The owners have been considered to be entrepreneurial for thinking outside the bowl. Yet, while they seem to be trying to sell folks on a glorious franchise opportunity, the website still shows one location for the business. This appears to be a very predictable “fail” here. The Groupon for the Cereal Boxx reads:
Cereal is a metaphor for collective action: alone, one pebble of chocolate garners little attention, but en masse, the clusters are quickly drowned in milk and devoured. Taste the power of edible bits and pieces with today’s deal: for $5, you get $10 worth of custom cereal treats from The Cereal Boxx, a breakfast, bakery, and dessert café on University Boulevard.
The Cereal Boxx, as the name suggests, specializes in dry cereal and house-made granolas and parfaits, although the menu does contain a handful of hot food options as well. One wall features name-brand cereals filling transparent tubes like so many Augustus Gloops, with Apple Jacks, Cap’n Crunch, Kix, and Cocoa Krispies jamming the pipes, to name just a few. Try one of the pre-designed cereal selections, or assemble your own ($3.25–$5.69).
…The interior features bright cherry red and brick walls that pop with hunger-inducing color, setting a lively tone. A mixture of dinette tables and comfy chairs give the Cereal Boxx a café vibe that encourages visitors to kick back, get comfortable, and stay long enough to get cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
I remember liking Cocoa Puff, too, when I was about ten or twelve. The menu also offers Rusted Grahams, Mice Krispies, Anciently Cursed Charms, Actual Pebbles, Cinnamon Ghost Crunch, and Snapple-Soaked Popcorn. Perhaps Flintstones vitamins and LED light-up candy pacifiers are a part of the meal deal? A really ridiculous review of this place makes the statement that $6 bowls of pure sugar topped with sugar disguised as “healthy fiber” is a far healtheir meal than the food eaten by those poor saps who choose McDonald’s and Taco Bell.
As I was savoring every sweet moment crunching around in my mouth, I looked around the restaurant that was decorated in yellows and reds. It had a very modern look to it with track lighting and plasma screen televisions. Two of them were playing sports while the other television was showing the Flintstones. The radio was playing soft rock which gave me a calm feeling and I for once forgot about all my stress for the day. I really enjoyed my time there and my meal gave back meaning to “mmmmmmmm.”
Thanks to Matt, from the University of Arizona, for the link.