Bread, Circuses, and Cocoa Puffs

Friday, March 18, 2011
Posted in category Boom-Bubble Phenomenon

One great thing about a bubble economy that promotes infantile attachments is that you never have to grow up and fully assume adult responsibility.

Once again, I do not make this stuff up – I only report on the madness of crowds that is the result of people buying into the bubble-inflationary economy that feeds the masses a sense of false prosperity, making people go crazy, lose control, and, essentially, causing the moral fabric of a society to decay rapidly. Part of that decay is a never-ending cycle of adult infantilism that is a result of the dumbing down of society by way of: public schools (government), the nanny state (government), an inflationary economy (government), demoralizing central planning (government), and the omnipotent paternal authorities (government).

A reader sent me this very funny – but pitiful – Groupon that was offered in his area for an adult cereal cafe (no, not the cereal-and-pajama parlor I mentioned in the past). This place is called the Cereal Boxx. The owners have been considered to be entrepreneurial for thinking outside the bowl. Yet, while they seem to be trying to sell folks on a glorious franchise opportunity, the website still shows one location for the business. This appears to be a very predictable “fail” here. The Groupon for the Cereal Boxx reads:

Cereal is a metaphor for collective action: alone, one pebble of chocolate garners little attention, but en masse, the clusters are quickly drowned in milk and devoured. Taste the power of edible bits and pieces with today’s deal: for $5, you get $10 worth of custom cereal treats from The Cereal Boxx, a breakfast, bakery, and dessert café on University Boulevard.

The Cereal Boxx, as the name suggests, specializes in dry cereal and house-made granolas and parfaits, although the menu does contain a handful of hot food options as well. One wall features name-brand cereals filling transparent tubes like so many Augustus Gloops, with Apple Jacks, Cap’n Crunch, Kix, and Cocoa Krispies jamming the pipes, to name just a few. Try one of the pre-designed cereal selections, or assemble your own ($3.25–$5.69).

…The interior features bright cherry red and brick walls that pop with hunger-inducing color, setting a lively tone. A mixture of dinette tables and comfy chairs give the Cereal Boxx a café vibe that encourages visitors to kick back, get comfortable, and stay long enough to get cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

I remember liking Cocoa Puff, too, when I was about ten or twelve. The menu also offers Rusted Grahams, Mice Krispies, Anciently Cursed Charms, Actual Pebbles, Cinnamon Ghost Crunch, and Snapple-Soaked Popcorn. Perhaps Flintstones vitamins and LED light-up candy pacifiers are a part of the meal deal? A really ridiculous review of this place makes the statement that $6 bowls of pure sugar topped with sugar disguised as “healthy fiber” is a far healtheir meal than the food eaten by those poor saps who choose McDonald’s and Taco Bell.

As I was savoring every sweet moment crunching around in my mouth, I looked around the restaurant that was decorated in yellows and reds.  It had a very modern look to it with track lighting and plasma screen televisions.  Two of them were playing sports while the other television was showing the Flintstones.  The radio was playing soft rock which gave me a calm feeling and I for once forgot about all my stress for the day.  I really enjoyed my time there and my meal gave back meaning to “mmmmmmmm.”

Thanks to Matt, from the University of Arizona, for the link.

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6 Responses to Bread, Circuses, and Cocoa Puffs

  1. Don Matesz says:

    March 18th, 2011 at 4:35 pm

    Pitiful. What else can I say?

  2. clark says:

    March 19th, 2011 at 12:09 am

    Bread, Circuses, and Cocoa Puffs, Ha nice title.

    There’s a guy on a prepper site I visit that is often calling the clueless welfare type People “cocoa puffers” I think maybe he includes those People you described here.

    Anyway, I saw the following headline and thought of your blog post title and the phrase, “adult infantilism that is a result of the dumbing down of society by way of:…”:

    Demonstration In Detroit Demands End to Utility Shutoffs

    The photos in the article shows People who, well, I wonder if they are just like the People we saw in the Christmas rush/crashing-through-the-doors videos? The People using water bottles as drums kind of crack me up.

    “Utilities are a social right,”??? Wow.

    Things are really heating up, up there in MI,
    Michigan bill would impose “financial martial law”

  3. Alex says:

    March 19th, 2011 at 10:45 am

    Okay, Karen. You’ve done enough of these articles that now you need to come up with an annual award ceremony for the most asinine and infantile nod to puerile conspicuous consumption; like the Darwin Awards for infantile obsession. The trophy could be a giant, bronze-plated pacifier.

    The only thing is, I wouldn’t just add carb-laden snacks for millennials to the list. I cringe when I see young people—many of whom have poor-paying or no jobs, massive student loan debts, and sponge off mom and dad while cheering Obama for making “kids under the age of 28″ eligible to be carried by mummy and daddy on insurance policies—run out and buy the latest piece of Apple electronic puffery for no reason other than it’s “the latest model.” I’m no luddite (I own an iPhone 3Gs) but when I see debt-up-to-their-ears-and-asses idiots camp out in front of the Apple store for some “new” geegaw from Jobs and company, I develop a slight modicum of sympathy for Crocs and cupcake boutiques (lol).

  4. Karen De Coster says:

    March 19th, 2011 at 8:22 pm

    Alex – same here: I got all the electronic toys, and use them (and enjoy them), but, the standing in line for the newest Apple device (isn’t quite like Black Friday) is not my cup of tea. It’s not crazed, like Black Fridayism, etc., but indeed, it’s carried off by those who can least afford it. Most people I know who have an iPad? They never use them and have no immediate use/need for them.

  5. Alex says:

    March 19th, 2011 at 9:47 pm

    And to make the point even clearer, our dear friends at the Fed:

    Bread, CIRCUITS, and Cocoa Puffs!

    Finally, there’s this little gem from my neck o’ the woods. It appears that the cupcake bubble may have already burst in the Windy City

    Just for shits and giggles, I’ll have to go by this monstrosity when it opens up (IF it opens up) and give you a report. If they’re wise, they’ll open a Lane Bryant and Casual Male XL next door to it (lol).

  6. liberranter says:

    March 20th, 2011 at 4:58 pm

    Karen, I second Alex’s award idea. Something tells me that we’ve yet to see the worst of the “bubble trends” and that the cereal and cupcake crowd will probably be the least deserving of the award.

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