Beware the Poop Nazis

Monday, May 17, 2010
Posted in category Tyranny of the Masses

News from an overbearing condominium complex in Baltimore:

Under the proposal, every dog at Scarlett Place and guest dogs would be swabbed for a DNA sample — owners would then have to pay $50 each to cover the test and supplies. Dog owners would also pay an extra $10 per month per dog to cover the cost of having the building’s staff scoop poop and send it to a lab. Feces, like saliva, contains tell-tale DNA.

If the lab identifies your dog as the pooper, that’s a $500 fine.

The DNA poop test would be for the purpose of pinpointing “the source of wayward excrement” on the condominium property. Don’t just blame the state – look to the pedestrian tyrants around you who desire to turn your world into an Orwellian nightmare to serve their need for bureaucratic power and control. People have nothing better to do. Thanks to reader Steve Haag for putting out the sniffers on this one.

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16 Responses to Beware the Poop Nazis

  1. Not Sure says:

    May 17th, 2010 at 9:45 pm

    Reason #187 on the list of “Why HOAs Suck”.

  2. Ymbel Diaz says:

    May 17th, 2010 at 10:35 pm

    Sounds fine to me. It’s private property. You don’t like it or agree with it vote by not moving in there.

  3. Ymbel Diaz says:

    May 17th, 2010 at 10:40 pm

    Oh and as for those people not having better things to do it might be better than always worrying about the unresponsible dog owners not having the betters to clean up “their” mess and making someone else worry about it. For shame.

  4. Ymbel Diaz says:

    May 17th, 2010 at 11:08 pm

    And for “pedestrain tyrants” do you mean to say that in a laissez faire society there wouldn’t be anyone to make rules on private property or will these people be consider defective in some way as human beings;not social. I think a distinction must be made,and we can’t paint things with broad strokes for then words don’t have meaning.

    The same way they defend freedom of speech by saying “I may not like what you say,but I believe in the right for you to say it” I think the same thing applies here: “even though this is a sensitive issue to me and the idea of it attacks my sensiblities I respect your view of this matter and of others to band together and do what they agree to on their property”. But this is laissez faire 101. It just goes to show the power of emotions and how we(and I include myself as well,we’re all human) can even twist our own priciples to make rights into wrongs.

  5. Karen De Coster says:

    May 18th, 2010 at 6:21 am

    Ymbel – excuse me? This is only about “attacking my sensitivities?” I am letting “emotions twisting my principles?” WTF?? Look back at you.

    This isn’t property rights (you think it is?) – but this is where libertarians are still uneducated in libertarianism.

    My blanket answer to readers who think this is “voluntary” action on private property and that one needs to move to avoid obeying the “voluntary” laws: separate “voluntary” from crazed, overzealous power mongering/control. If I bought into a “voluntary” condo association, and afterwards they passed anti-blonde laws, you mean that if I “feel strongly” about not having to dye my hair brunette, I should just pick up and leave? The homeowners did not move in agreeing to pay high $$$$$ to have their dogs DNA tested and put under DNA poop scrutiny. A truly voluntary association would have several means before them to control the poop problem – using voluntary cooperation – without resorting to “private” tyranny.

    Again, this is where undereducated libertarians cannot see beyond the word “private property” – stop right there….it must be okay!

    p.s. — everyone can pay someone to come in and clean up a few times per month. or set up stations with plastic gloves and barrels. what a notion! or you can pass costly, crazed, DNA doggie laws which “respect property rights.” and then how will you ENFORCE those “laws?”

  6. Karen De Coster says:

    May 18th, 2010 at 6:22 am

    Ymbel – 3 responses? Start back at the definitions, and then move through principles before shouting irrelevant statements from rooftops.

  7. Iluvatar says:

    May 18th, 2010 at 6:09 pm


    Hey, I still love ya man,ok? You are good folk.

    What you may not realize is how COMMUNISTIC and tyrannical the HOAs around here are. Getting elected to a HOA council seat transmorgifies a human being into an absolute monster.

    And oh, they do not build communities; they tear them apart.

    Same happened in our neighborhood. Absoutely & permanently polarized the neighborhood. Those folks still do not say “hi” to each other.

    Furthermore, they unfairly empower people who are (truly) just your equals.

    When it ain’t voluntary; it ain’t freedom; it is shoved down your throat.

    I made a determination of that through much more simple (read: idiot savant – gut level) means:

    How would I feel if someone shoved this down my throat as regards my personal property? Regardless of whether or not I had a pet?

    Where are my contract rights? Answer: non-existent, b/c it can be redefined at the whim of communists – it’s a moving target!

    my 2 cents…

  8. Austin says:

    May 18th, 2010 at 9:59 pm

    This is the downside to HOAs and gated communities. Petty tyrants in these developments with too much time on their hands love to control others as if they were subjects in their own little fiefdoms. I know people who deal with tyrannical HOAs in their gated communities, and it is not a desirable situation.

    The fact that the condo in this case is ‘private property’ is irrelevant. The issue here is that the people running this HOA are a bunch of control-freaks who enjoy dictating the lives of others.

    More than anything else, this is a reflection on modern American society. I’m sure the same people who advocate for public tyranny advocate for private tyranny as well. So sure, it’s private property, and they can do with it as they please. But it’s still bad policy. And the people who bought these condos now must suffer the consequences of a stupid, overbearing HOA.

    Karen isn’t saying the government should butt its nose in to take care of the problem. And they shouldn’t, either. She’s simply exposing a problem. She also criticizes Cold Stone Creamery, Crocs, and organic tampons, too! She has strong opinions about things. Take ‘em or leave ‘em.

  9. Aaron says:

    May 18th, 2010 at 11:38 pm

    Eggheads unite! There’s a libertarian nit-pick for you to beat endlessly to death too! Quick! Grab on before you look less libertarian than your friends!

    These endlessly circular and useless arguments kill me. They’re the reason I don’t participate in the glorified debate club that is the Libertarian Party. At least they don’t charge $25/year anymore. That was too much of a strain for their genius members who are so intelligent, they can’t figure out how to get a friggin job.

    Here’s a simple solution for the homeowners association: look hard at that little budget you have (you know you have one, everyone in these HOAs pays dues) and hire the local 8-12 year old to clean up dog poop.

    Then, if it makes you happy, play your petty tyrant games on your new employee instead of the people who live around you and have access to things you probably don’t want trashed in the middle of the night.

    Don’t have to be an egghead to figure THAT one out. Sheesh.

    The extreme lack of common sense and inability to do anything but run away from the opposite sex is the reason the LP will never grow or prosper.

    For those libertarians who have a real life: come join the rest of us party animals in the Free Market Anarchists Club (name subject to change at any time). There’s no (set) fee to join and you don’t even have to tell us your real name. (Disclaimer: You may be required to barter or buy your way in, however. So bring capital.)

  10. Jeannie Queenie says:

    May 19th, 2010 at 12:56 am

    YD, are you saying ‘for shame’ to those of us who hate the inconsiderate, arrogant arseholes who allow their dogs to crap anywhere? Here in New England, the doggy turds litter the sidewalks of Boston. I thought that by moving to CT I’d find some folks with class, consideration of other’s rights, and I would get away from these self righteous nutballs who believe the ‘love me, love my dog, love my dog’s crap’. To that I say the hell with that. I have a right to step out in my yard without having to tiptoe through the tulips to avoid the sheista. Last summer I couldn’t even sit on my deck with a glass of wine and my dinner without some moron bringing their constipated dog fifty feet from my deck where I had to view this sick scene of a dog having a hard time in getting his doggy doo to pass. It just happened that it was one of the association board members who should have known better. K, when you say,
    “EVERYONE can pay someone to come in and clean up a few times per month”, I call that total bullshit, not dog shit. Why the hell should I have to pay for some inconsiderate slob’s dog way Jose…HOA’s are enough of a pain in the ass without having to deal with what comes out of a dog’s ass. For five years now, I have been dealing with these idiot board members that have IQ’s smaller than their shoe size…they all have these damned “entitlement’ mentalities that they can do whatever the hell they please..and the rest of us can fork over our wallets for their pleasure. Well, maybe walking doggie is the one and only pleasure they get in life, but me walking in their dog poop is a real pain in the butt.

    Ilivutar, you are so right on…they are all damned communists…if they all have dogs, and want to allow them to poop everywhere, then we are all supposed to divvy up for cleanup? Helloooo, I think NOT. Additionally, these dogs destroy our lawns and shrubs and then we have to pay for more shrubs? How the hell is this any different from what our lousy govt is doing to us right now? They make their damn messes all over the place and we are to pick up the tab…again, this is a really crappy deal. I didn’t buy to be in a commie setting where only the privileged have rights, that being a right to crap on my property and ruin my dinner..or allowing the dog to howl from their unit while they are gone for nine hours…who the hell needs it? I guess that the mob rules at all levels, be it federal or local.

  11. Karen De Coster says:

    May 19th, 2010 at 6:59 am

    “EVERYONE can pay someone to come in and clean up a few times per month”, I call that total bullshit, not dog shit.” So you prefer it when HOA nazis use jack-booted, statist tactics? You like the mini-Homeland Security? You really think there’s no other solution than forced DNA testing? Again, I ask the same question that Butler Shaffer asked, too: How will this mandate be enforced, and by who? The state.

    Thank you.

  12. Karen De Coster says:

    May 19th, 2010 at 7:00 am

    “Here’s a simple solution for the homeowners association: look hard at that little budget you have (you know you have one, everyone in these HOAs pays dues) and hire the local 8-12 year old to clean up dog poop.” Aaron – that’s what I originally said. But remember, that’s too easy; people like conflict and control tactics – hence the DNA testing route that “libertarians” are agreeing to and arguing over.

  13. Karen De Coster says:

    May 19th, 2010 at 7:08 am

    “Karen isn’t saying the government should butt its nose in to take care of the problem. And they shouldn’t, either. She’s simply exposing a problem.” Austin – it’s worse than that – I’ve asked people, ‘Who will enforce the mandates of the HOA in question?” No one answers. Butler Shaffer did on the LRC blog. These HOAs use the tactics of government, act like government, and derive their influence from totalitarian bureaucracies. Then they use the state to enforce their government-like mandates. And libertarians approve!

  14. Jeannie Queenie says:

    May 19th, 2010 at 4:20 pm

    Karen, is this or is it not your quote above…p.s. — “EVERYONE can pay someone to come in and clean up a few times per month. or set up stations …. barrels.!” Please reread my post. Don’t subscribe things to me that I didn’t say.
    If you read me right, there’s no way you’d impugn me with wanting a mini police state, for IN FACT, I AM SCREAMING AGAINST THE EXISTING POLICE STATE THAT WE HAVE HERE and we don’t even need the fricken state to do their job..for we have bonafide wannabe statists in our midst!!!….i.e. Fuhrers.

    Further, I did not say that I went along with idiotic DNA testing. In fact, I said it is NOT my job to pay for DNA testing for jerks!
    You go on and say this….So you prefer it when HOA nazis use jack-booted, statist tactics?” Hell NO, again, they ARE using jack booted statist tactics residing in their clueless craniums..that state called a ‘personal feifdom’ where they reign supreme, and the hell with other unit owner’s rights.

    Here in CT they know that they can get away with all kinds of shit for they are above the law! I know for I wrote the Attorney General two years ago and he agreed that it is endemic that HOA’s are corrupt and callous and crazy as hell, but he didn’t have money in the state budget to monitor condo associations. His reply to me was to get a lawyer..who the hell can afford to deal with yet another crook and get no guarantees? When you offered this suggestion..”EVERYONE
    can pay someone to come in and clean up a few times per month”, I countered with “I call that total bullshit, not dog shit.” And I refuse to apologize for believing that IT IS NOT MY DUTY TO PAY FOR THE DISPENSING OF OTHER’S DOG CRAP.

    Here is the problem with some libertarian’s thinking…none of us with a right mind want the state calling all the shots in our lives..this is a no brainer, right? But why can I NEVER get an answer from anyone when I ask how would you deal with such problems if laws don’t prevail. For anyone to suggest that all you have to do is visit a neighbor with a home cooked pie, bribing them to stop their dogs from crapping on property, all the meanwhile smiling sweetly and talking demurely, when in fact you want to shove the GD pie in their puss for being such ignorant, classless, entitlement jerks! So I ask you and others how you would deal with this situation. And pls don’t give the same tired old answers…’just be nice and tell them how you feel, take up a doggie fund, yada, yada.’
    When you try these things and they laugh in your face or exhibit the sociopathic tendencies of those who care not a whit for their neighbor’s rights, what chance in hell do you have? As for me providing buckets, scoops and gloves for the ‘hood’, hell with that..nor should i have to clean the crap up. I did my stint of eleven years of non stop diapers..the last thing I need now is to clean up the crap created by careless, clueless kooks. Are you perhaps suggesting that a little rat poisoned beef could get rid of the problem? I hear no other viable suggestions out there, and I NEVER said that I had the answer, just looking for one.

  15. Iluvatar says:

    May 19th, 2010 at 11:25 pm

    @ JQ

    I really thing that K pulled the trigger a bit prematurely w/o fully understanding where you were coming from.

    B/c, both or you were in violent agreement.

    Let’s all calm down here; go back to your corners and redress.

    The comments entered here by the posters were all good. And it made for a good discussion.

    But let’s not let this get distructive either? We’re all together on this one – we all disagreed in unison over the HOA mobster mentality. We all got it.

    Let’s focus on sharing some apologies, KAY?

    Moderator, would you care to take the leadership role and take point here?

    Btw, if I need to make one, pls let me know – but that is only b/c I am a clueless idiot…

    No big deal!

    One thing I wanted to leave y’all w/, is a concern for what I believe is a (much) larger issue.

    Why, do people behave in such a BONKED way???

    And therein lies a much more important debate.

    A Toute A L’Heure!

  16. Austin says:

    May 20th, 2010 at 2:04 pm

    Jeannie Queenie- why write a lengthy diatribe only to come to the conclusion that you still don’t have an answer? We get it, these people are inconsiderate assholes. If they don’t clean up after their dogs, try calling them out on it. Yell at them if you have to; it works in my neighborhood.

    Oh, and I wouldn’t recommend the rat-poisoned beef solution. Don’t think the HOA won’t ride you out on a rail if you pull shenanigans like that.

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