Bed Bug Pandemic

Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Posted in category Idiocracy

I thought I was listening to Mad Magazine Radio yesterday when I heard about the National Bed Bug Summit. But the dial was on FOX radio, I am sure of it. Apparently, this summit came about because the Federal Bed Bug Working Group had failed to provide a solution to the problem. And then I heard Mayor Bloomberg call for a Bed Bug Czar. Keep in mind that Bloomberg already has a 10-person Bed Bug Advisory Board. The Bloomberg-Advisory Board plan for dealing with bed bugs will look like this:

…key elements of the plan include creating a bed bug task force headed by an entomologist, a public education push, a city-funded “Bed Bug Academy” for building & property managers, assigning bed bug cases higher priority in Housing Court, and giving stronger rights of access to bed bug-infested apartments. The battle plan will also establish a clear protocol for residents dealing with a bed bug problem, including a “triage” plan detailing what to do in the first 24 hours.

People are bored and disillusioned since the non-pandemic flu pandemic became a megaflop, so the bed bugs fill the necessary gap for people who need to fear something, anything …  that only the government can solve through the means of bureaucrat planning, Czars, advisory boards, public policy, and Three Stooges reruns.

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One Response to Bed Bug Pandemic

  1. M. Terry says:

    February 6th, 2011 at 7:40 pm

    “…Czars, advisory boards, public policy, and Three Stooges reruns.”

    Now it’s just plain mean to mention The Three Stooges in the same sentence with Czars, etc.

    The Three Stooges actually produced something.

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