Another Terrorist Arrested!

Saturday, January 9, 2010
Posted in category Satire

School Teacher Arrested

(Author unknown)

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.  At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

“Al-Gebra is a problem for us,” the Attorney General said. “They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.”  They use secret code names like ‘X’ and ‘Y’ and refer to themselves as ‘unknowns,’ but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, “There are 3 sides to every triangle.” When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, “If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes.”

White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President. It is believed that the Nobel Prize for Physics will follow……

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5 Responses to Another Terrorist Arrested!

  1. cousin lucky says:

    January 9th, 2010 at 2:20 pm

    Very good, Ms De Coster!! That Is funny!!

  2. M. Terry says:

    January 9th, 2010 at 6:33 pm

    Awesome. People who practice that form of religion should all be prosecuted. It’s clearly dangerous to us all.

    And the tools used for those bizarre algebraic computations are clearly a danger to us all. Thankfully, the TSA is only doing their job. We’re all so much safer now. Gotta stop geometry professors, architects and draftsmen next.

    I can’t imagine boarding a flight with a zealot who is an expert using dangerous tools like dividers and compasses. Imagine the havoc a t-square could cause.

    Next thing you know people would actually be trying to board airplanes with dangerous weapons like toenail clippers and rat tail combs, and carrying hair gel and toothpaste. STOP THE TERROR!

    It’s gotta stop somewhere.

  3. Damien says:

    January 9th, 2010 at 9:19 pm

    Love it! It took me a try or two to decipher who the nefarious Al-Gebra gang was. Thank you for the laughs!

  4. John and Dagny Galt says:

    January 10th, 2010 at 6:40 am

    You know…
    They hate us for our MATH.

    Congress shall make no law against mathmatical expressions.

    Congress shall not infringe on the right to keep and bear abacuses.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abacus
    (for those who don’t know what an abacus is…hahaha)

    Hey, it’s on the wiki…must be true…hahaha!
    http://wiki.algebra.com/index.php/Dangerous_Al-Gebra_movement

    Look! T-Shirts!
    http://www.zazzle.ca/weapons_of_math_instruction_t_shirt_customized-235298076529264091

    Direct link to photo for easy embedding!

    http://rlv.zcache.com/weapons_of_math_instruction_t_shirt_customized-p235298076529264091c1k1_400.jpg

    And in other bra news…you just cannot make this stuff up!
    http://af.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idAFTRE59F1K420091016

    ROTFLMAO

    Hey, mathmatics gave us da bomb and da push up bra too!

    Xs and Ys and Zs Forever(insert evil laugh here),
    John and Dagny Galt
    Starving The Monkeys, Owners Manual For The Universe!(tm)

    .

  5. Dean says:

    January 22nd, 2010 at 7:53 am

    Watch how this Free Stater deals with these TSA goons. They really don’t know how to deal with him

    http://freekeene.com/2010/01/20/detroit-tsa-security-theater/

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